were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
