She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's rum buckets o'clock
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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