dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
