All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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