my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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