We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize