The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
