great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
