i was born a porn star she said
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There r osticjed everywhere
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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