doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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