In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
