butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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