You're my little dorito
I love black thongs
just tell him i said nine months
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
