margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
