I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
