Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
