toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
