i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
pray to the hookup gods
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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