Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
