Define "chronic" masturbator.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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