Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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