the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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