I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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