you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She said her name was "party"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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