he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
