when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Damn victory sex feels great
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
