Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We have started to decorate penises.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
