Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
