i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
