It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
