just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
