her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize