I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
