what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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