you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
