do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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