At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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