After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
