is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
