at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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