New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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