I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize