i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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