I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize