I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
