I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
