the new term for farting is butt boxing.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
