I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
