I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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