yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
