Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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