i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I pour the whiskey from now on
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
