Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
they're like a gay fantastic four
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize