We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
