Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
