that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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