Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
