Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
