R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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