Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
