At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
