White coat. Heels.
She is in my trunk
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize