i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
