Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
